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Bog Standard

Restroom comedy has traditionally served as the comfort zone for daily publications, and writers stay alert of notable bog-related stories and historic moments, particularly within football. What a delight it was to discover that an online journalist a well-known presenter has a West Brom-themed urinal in his house. Consider the situation regarding the Barnsley supporter who understood the bathroom a little too literally, and needed rescuing from an empty Oakwell stadium post-napping in the lavatory during halftime of a 2015 loss by Fleetwood. “His footwear was missing and misplaced his cellphone and his cap,” stated a representative from Barnsley fire services. And everyone remembers during his peak popularity at Manchester City, the controversial forward visited a nearby college for toilet purposes in 2012. “He left his Bentley parked outside, before entering and requesting directions to the restrooms, subsequently he entered the faculty room,” a student told local Manchester media. “After that he was just walking round the campus acting like the owner.”

The Lavatory Departure

This Tuesday commemorates a quarter-century since Kevin Keegan stepped down from the England national team after a brief chat inside a lavatory booth alongside FA executive David Davies deep within Wembley Stadium, after the notorious 1-0 loss against Germany in 2000 – England’s final match at the historic stadium. According to Davies' personal account, his private Football Association notes, he had entered the sodden beleaguered England dressing room directly following the fixture, seeing David Beckham weeping and Tony Adams motivated, both of them pleading for the official to reason with Keegan. Following Dietmar Hamann’s free-kick, Keegan had trudged down the tunnel with a thousand-yard stare, and Davies found him slumped – reminiscent of his 1996 Liverpool behavior – in the dressing room corner, whispering: “I'm leaving. This isn't for me.” Stopping Keegan, Davies tried desperately to rescue the scenario.

“Where could we possibly locate [for a chat] that was private?” recalled Davies. “The tunnel? Full of TV journalists. The locker room? Packed with upset players. The bath area? I couldn’t hold a vital conversation with the national coach while athletes jumped in the pool. Merely one possibility emerged. The restroom stalls. A dramatic moment in England’s long football history took place in the vintage restrooms of a venue scheduled for destruction. The coming demolition was almost tangible. Leading Kevin into a compartment, I secured the door behind us. We stayed there, eye to eye. ‘My decision is final,’ Kevin declared. ‘I’m out of here. I’m not up to it. I'll inform the media that I'm not adequate. I can’t motivate the players. I can't extract the additional effort from these athletes that's required.’”

The Results

Therefore, Keegan stepped down, later admitting that he had found his tenure as national coach “without spirit”. The two-time European Footballer of the Year stated: “I struggled to occupy my time. I ended up coaching the blind squad, the deaf team, working with the ladies team. It's an extremely challenging position.” The English game has progressed significantly in the quarter of a century since. For better or worse, those stadium lavatories and those iconic towers are long gone, although a German now works in the technical area Keegan previously used. Tuchel's team is considered among the frontrunners for next year's international tournament: National team followers, value this time. This specific commemoration from one of England's worst moments serves as a recall that situations weren't always this good.

Live Updates

Tune in with Luke McLaughlin at 8pm British Summer Time for women's football cup news from Arsenal 2-1 OL Lyonnes.

Daily Quotation

“We stood there in a lengthy line, wearing only our undergarments. We represented Europe's top officials, premier athletes, inspirations, mature people, mothers and fathers, resilient characters with high morals … yet nobody spoke. We scarcely made eye contact, our eyes shifted somewhat anxiously while we were called forward two by two. There Collina examined us thoroughly with an ice-cold gaze. Quiet and watchful” – previous global referee Jonas Eriksson discloses the embarrassing processes officials were once put through by former Uefa head of referees Pierluigi Collina.

Football Daily Letters

“How important is a name? A Dr Seuss verse exists called ‘Too Many Daves’. Has Blackpool experienced Excessive Steves? Steve Bruce, together with staff Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been dismissed through the exit. Is this the termination of the Steve fascination? Not exactly! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie stay to manage the main squad. Total Steve progression!” – John Myles

“Now you have loosened the purse strings and provided some branded items, I've opted to write and make a pithy comment. Ange Postecoglou states that he picked fights on the school grounds with children he expected would overpower him. This self-punishing inclination must explain his choice to sign with Nottingham Forest. As a lifelong Spurs supporter I'll remain thankful for the second-year silverware yet the only follow-up season honor I predict him achieving near the Trent River, if he remains that duration, is the second division and that would be quite a challenge {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|